Posted on May 24, 2021
it’s been nine years to the day since my grandmother passed away and while there were many, many things that were very dear to me about her, her love of cooking for her family is probably among my favorites.
there is nothing on this earth or in the universe beyond that would convince me that my grandmother was anything short of magic.
she probably wouldn’t be too amused by the notion (as devout in her christian faith as she was) but i don’t think that makes it any less true.
i grew up learning how to cook and bake at her hip, watched her make and participated in making all of her recipes, but to this day, all the best ones will not be replicated.
we have her handwritten recipes (complete with additions and notes and little fixes) and multiple people have attempted to recreate them (some of them to point of tears).
none of us have been successful.
our brownies are gluey and flat, our cookies are crunchy, and our fried chicken won’t crackle.
it’s as maddening as it is hilarious in a “neener, neener!” kind of way.
it’s the only explanation i’m willing to accept.
i miss my grandmother more than i can even begin to put into words. there is a hole in my heart where she sat that still hurts and grieves, but through her recipes and my failures, sometimes, it hurts a little less.
i love you, grammy.
thank you for still making me laugh.
Posted on March 13, 2021
i have too many tarot decks.
last count, i had over 4 dozen and that’s not counting the one’s i’m still waiting on to arrive.
the way i see it, some people collect cute cat statuettes or stamps, so why shouldn’t i be able to collect every single tarot deck that strikes my fancy to my greedy little heart’s content?
never mind the fact that i’m quickly running out of space for any more.
that’s just semantics.
oh well. nothing a shelf or two won’t fix. there’s some intellegence in the saying “only buy things you’ll use. i hardly use the ones i buy (i love the artwork and feel of them shuffling in my hands, but i only really use a few decks for any actual readings), but i do go through them quite frequently to shuffle them and contemplate the art.
not everything needs a purpose outside looking pretty and i’m trying to remember that.