full moon meditation

i love full moons.

there’s just something about the muted, mellow light and how it seems to cleanse everything it touches.

the full moon is a great time to take a look back on all the happenings of the past cycle; to celebrate your triumphs and successes and to cleanse and ride yourself of any negativity and failures (while still holding on to any lessons you have learned).

i also like to take this time and meditate on all the situations the world has gone through in the last month, as a way to process these circumstances and move past any unpleasantness that may have been felt.

i thought it would be fun to share my process with you today.

perhaps you’ll find that it’s a fitting way to welcome in each new cycle and that it’s a great way to allow good things into your life to fill up the spaces where negativity and muckiness used to sit.

i know i have.

so, try it out and, if you’ve never meditated before, don’t be scared to start small.

one minute. two minutes. five minutes.

it doesn’t matter.

what matters is that you make a point to sit with yourself (something that almost everyone i know is entirely uncomfortable with) and your thoughts in order to process, to learn, to grow.

let’s begin.

breathe.

hold 7 seconds.

release.

hold 10 seconds.

repeat.

as you feel yourself relax, as you allow your worries and fears come to the forefront of your mind, toss them into the aether and dissipate.

don’t dwell. don’t stop to over-analyze.

learn how to be okay with sitting and resting and being.

i do this practice every full moon.

i release my problems and doubts and anything troubling and i trust that Mother Moon will guide me through.

if you have a deity or guide, you can also reach out to them. do whatever you feel works best for you. there’s no rules or certain way to do this.

once you feel you’ve released all you need to, quietly come back to yourself and reengage in the world around you, ready to start this new cycle with a clear head and heart.

xx steph

of grandmothers, magic, and bittersweet memories

it’s been nine years to the day since my grandmother passed away and while there were many, many things that were very dear to me about her, her love of cooking for her family is probably among my favorites.

there is nothing on this earth or in the universe beyond that would convince me that my grandmother was anything short of magic.

she probably wouldn’t be too amused by the notion (as devout in her christian faith as she was) but i don’t think that makes it any less true.

i grew up learning how to cook and bake at her hip, watched her make and participated in making all of her recipes, but to this day, all the best ones will not be replicated.

we have her handwritten recipes (complete with additions and notes and little fixes) and multiple people have attempted to recreate them (some of them to point of tears).

none of us have been successful.

our brownies are gluey and flat, our cookies are crunchy, and our fried chicken won’t crackle.

it’s as maddening as it is hilarious in a “neener, neener!” kind of way.

so, magic.

it’s the only explanation i’m willing to accept.

i miss my grandmother more than i can even begin to put into words. there is a hole in my heart where she sat that still hurts and grieves, but through her recipes and my failures, sometimes, it hurts a little less.

i love you, grammy.

thank you for still making me laugh.

xx steph

celebrate your little wins

i made rice successfully for the first time in my life the other day.

never mind that i made it in the instantpot and all i really had to do was dump the rice, water, and spices in, set the timer, and run away to let it do its thing.

i didn’t burn myself, the rice, or my apartment so i’m counting it as a win.

there’s been far too few of those lately and i’m grabbing whatever i can get with my barehands and not letting go.

what are your little wins?

let’s celebrate them.

xx steph

a pretty thing still has worth

i have too many tarot decks.

last count, i had over 4 dozen and that’s not counting the one’s i’m still waiting on to arrive.

the way i see it, some people collect cute cat statuettes or stamps, so why shouldn’t i be able to collect every single tarot deck that strikes my fancy to my greedy little heart’s content?

never mind the fact that i’m quickly running out of space for any more.

that’s just semantics.

right?

right.

oh well. nothing a shelf or two won’t fix. there’s some intellegence in the saying “only buy things you’ll use. i hardly use the ones i buy (i love the artwork and feel of them shuffling in my hands, but i only really use a few decks for any actual readings), but i do go through them quite frequently to shuffle them and contemplate the art.

not everything needs a purpose outside looking pretty and i’m trying to remember that.

xx steph

resin woes and other troubles

i’ve recently gotten into resin art just like everyone else in the world, apparently, and i have found that i really really enjoy it, but one of the annoying things is trying to come up with ways to accomplish the things i want to do.

for one, molds and resin are expensive and sometimes, hard to work with.

for another, i come up with an idea, only to find out that someone else did it first and then i just feel like an asshole for “stealing” someone else’s thought.

i know that this is just how this process works, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

i suppose that just means i must adapt, overcome, and be better.

all doable, just exhausting.

oh, well, back to the grind!

xx