the world these days…

i’ve spent quite a lot of time just thinking lately.

about the world, about the pandemic, about all the traveling i never got to do before we all learned that maybe charging headfirst into the unknown isn’t a good idea right now…

i’m one of the lucky ones.

my job allows me to stay employed and at home, for the most part. my boss has told me on multiple occasions that if i’m not comfortable coming into the office, he won’t hold it against me.

i know there are a lot of people out there who don’t have that luxury and i am trying to do my part to stay away from all the unnecessary places that people don’t need to visit right now. (i’m looking at you, karen. you don’t need that hair cut. sit down, shut up and think about someone other than yourself, m’kay?)

food, bank, home.

wash. rinse. repeat.

is it boring?

yes.

is it lonely?

honestly, i’ve never been more lonely in my life.

… is it necessary?

yes.

until all this is over (and the chances of it ever being over are in the negatives), this is the new normal.

buck up, buttercup.

one day, we might be able to walk through our own front doors without panicking about whether we washed our hands or not, but until then, we all need to saddle up and get comfy and decide how we’re doing to handle all of this upheaval.

me? well, i’ve i’m going to do my part to be kind, and helpful, and go out of my way to make people smile.

i don’t know how. i haven’t figured it out yet.

it’ll give me something to think about, anyway.

xx

a time to reflect…

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i’m excited for this new moon.

not only is it a new moon, a time for cleansings and welcoming in new beginnings, it’s also a dark moon, or, the second new moon in a single calendar month and a time of hightened energy and a great time to work on or dedicate yourself to personal growth.

i have been doing a lot of personal growth this year.

from multiple health issues (thyroid, migraine, general health), after having never really been an unhealthy person, to some financial woes, i’ve gone through a huge bout of soul searching and re-evaluation these last seven months.

it’s been a rollcoaster and i don’t know that i’ve fully come to a stop yet, but during this ebb, i’m planning on taking the time to reflect on all the good and bad of whatever cycle i was in the throes of.

i read once that the dark moon is the savasana of the moon cycle, and i find that super fitting, if not a little ironic, all things considered.

like savasana in yoga, the dark moon is a great time for reflection and absorbtion of all the lessons and teachings, though you may not know what those things are, or are aware that you even learned them.

i feel like that’s on purpose, as we are never completely done changing or shifting, much like the moon itself.

so, tomorrow night, i plan on sitting quietly, with my altar and myself, and just… digest.

meditate

breathe.

be.

will you join me?

affirmations are a girl’s best friend…

i am nothing if not a chronic procrastinator.

i will wait until the last possible second to accomplish anything at all, even if this tactic ends up causing me so much stress i can’t function for hours after.

this makes very little sense, no matter which way you slice it, but somehow, i just never, ever learn.

that said, i’m learning.

one thing I’ve been trying to do this year (that is constantly thwarted by health issues and mutinies of the worst kind), is get better at achieving some of the goals i have for myself.

one way i’ve been trying to motivate myself is by the use of affirmations in every day life.

an affirmation is a great way to remind yourself of what you’re trying to accomplish without it being shoved down your throat, so to speak.

the way i use mine is that i try to write five affirmations in a journal every single day (or at least once a week on a week where i’m super busy or stressed or have low spoons) and i have even written out important affirmations on my bathroom mirror, that way, even if i don’t read them every day, my brain recognizes them on some level and they still do what they’re supposed to do.

because of these affirmations, i have found that i start my day out in a better mood and with a better outlook in general, ready to tackle any of life’s challenges. on top of that, it’s fun to go back and look over the affirmations from the last month to see how things have (or haven’t) changed.

the mind is a crazy, crazy thing and it’s kind of neat how we can reprogram and change how we think about things just by the information we choose to put into it.

kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

here’s my affirmations for the next week:

i will take time for the things i need to, 

i will remember my worth. 

i will be the best i can be at all that i do. 

i will remain assertive and forthright in the things i am concerned about. 

i will learn how to say what i need to say, when i need to say it. 

what are yours?

xx

 

stop the train, i want to get off…

i’ve been sitting in the parking lot of our local bookstore for the last twenty minutes and yet, i can’t quite bring myself to get out of the car and walk in.

i want to, but for whatever reason, i just can’t bring myself to do it.

i know my anxiety is high, and it has been for the last few days and that could be part of the problem, but still, this is annoying.

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we all have different ways of coping with difficulties in life and usually, going to the bookstore and emersing myself into the world of a good book is the way to do it for me, but that does not appear to be the case today.

today, i can’t shake the feeling that i’m missing the bigger picture and that the universe is trying to tell me something, but i’m too out of tune to notice or decifer what it is.

and that’s annoying to me.

it’s supremely annoying when the world and the noise and the chaos are all too much to handle and i just want to curl up in bed for a year and not have to deal with it.

it’s also annoying that i know from experience that this doesn’t actually help anything.

it’s also irritating that i wanted this to be some super poetic, self help, “everything’s gonna be okay!” post but i don’t have the energy.

i’m having to stop myself from apologizing for that, if only because i have some self implemented goal in my head to always be uplifting and motivated, but that’s on me.

so, i’m not going to apologize for having a bad day or for failing to reach the goals i’ve set for myself.

there’s always tomorrow, after all.

xx