in it to win it

dawid-zawila-zb2vBaHYB2I-unsplash

i’ve been thinking a lot lately, about how much stock i put into other peoples’ opinions about the things i do and what i’m doing with my life.

it’s exhausting and bothersome and creates so much anxiety that i often find myself paralyzed with the idea that someone may not approve of the path i’ve chosen or my beliefs or personality.

that was my entire childhood.

i let myself be hindered by others’ judgements and ideas about my life for as long as i can remember, all while also putting on the front that i was the one in control of my choices and decisions. it stopped me from having a lot of fun or doing some pretty amazing things.

granted, there were a few things i did that had very little to do with what anyone else thought i should be doing (going to europe for two weeks and driving half way across the country to watch the last harry potter movie with my high school best friend were probably the best things i ever did), but the big things, the important things like college and jobs and which course to set myself on, those were all shadowed by everyone else’s ideas of what my life should be.

i have recently accepted the fact that i will never be that square peg. i will never fit in a round hole and i am not meant to be stuck behind a desk for 40 hrs a week.

so, this is me washing my hands of other peoples’ bullshit expectations. this is me renting the studio space for my artwork like i’ve wanted to do for literal years but never did because there’s “no way i’ll sell enough to make it worth it”.

this is me going back to school, not for my parents, or because i’m supposed to, but for me.

this is me throwing down the gauntlet with life and saying “okay, you want to play? let’s play.” and then deciding here and now that i’m going to win.

game on.

xx

a time to reflect…

beach-calm-cloud-355209

i’m excited for this new moon.

not only is it a new moon, a time for cleansings and welcoming in new beginnings, it’s also a dark moon, or, the second new moon in a single calendar month and a time of hightened energy and a great time to work on or dedicate yourself to personal growth.

i have been doing a lot of personal growth this year.

from multiple health issues (thyroid, migraine, general health), after having never really been an unhealthy person, to some financial woes, i’ve gone through a huge bout of soul searching and re-evaluation these last seven months.

it’s been a rollcoaster and i don’t know that i’ve fully come to a stop yet, but during this ebb, i’m planning on taking the time to reflect on all the good and bad of whatever cycle i was in the throes of.

i read once that the dark moon is the savasana of the moon cycle, and i find that super fitting, if not a little ironic, all things considered.

like savasana in yoga, the dark moon is a great time for reflection and absorbtion of all the lessons and teachings, though you may not know what those things are, or are aware that you even learned them.

i feel like that’s on purpose, as we are never completely done changing or shifting, much like the moon itself.

so, tomorrow night, i plan on sitting quietly, with my altar and myself, and just… digest.

meditate

breathe.

be.

will you join me?

three things i learned from my cat

i am lucky enough to be allowed the esteemed company of a little black cat i adopted from a local agency here in my hometown, and let me tell you, is she a hoot.

her name is bird (actually, obsidian blackbird mcknight, but she allows me to shorten it, as she is quite the gracious creature) and she’s three years old and my life is nothing if not entertaining.

she’s always quick to remind me that life does not, in fact, revolve around myself and that it doesn’t matter when I get home from work or doing other fun things, so long as her food dish is full at precisely 5pm and that I’m always available for scritches when she wants them.

img_0247

needless to say, i’m not the owner here.

this is her world, i’m just allowed to stay in it.

anyway, i’ve never really been a cat person, per se, (i like them fine, but i do find that i prefer the company of a joyous, rowdy hound) but over the last few years, bird sure has taught me a thing or two about life.

she is benevolent enough to let me share them with you all.

(she’s a gem like that.)

1. always take time to lay in the sun.

we hear it time and time again, that being in the sun is good for us (to a point, as my current sunburn can attest to) and that we need a healthy amount of vitamin d to survive, but even more than that, it’s spiritual.

the sun has a warm quality to it that reminds us that we are alive and we are here. It’s revitalizing in all the best ways and we better not forget it.

2. eat only the best food and turn your nose up at the rest (best being whatever it is that you’re eating). 

i’m lucky in that Bird is not a picky eater. she eats pretty much whatever food i put in front of her, no matter if it’s the super expensive food or the kibble i’m forced to buy when money’s tight.

it’s a reminder to enjoy what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t. enjoy it all the same and bask in the full belly as a result.

3. take the time to play. 

bird has a feather boa toy that she goes crazy for. it’s orange and cheap and the most ridiculous thing, but she adores it and no matter what she’s doing, she will make a beeline across the room to chase it if i wave it around.

it’s a reminder that no matter how serious a task is that i’m currently working on is, i should always take the time to play and chase and have fun. the serious parts of life can wait, after all.

img_0637

as you can see, bird is a wise creature and has much knowledge to share. i hope you can gain as much from her “lessons” as i have.

i’m sure she has much left to teach as well.

i, for one, am looking forward to it.

xx

 

of crystals and children

oh, to be inclosed in the innocent wonder of a child again.

it was the best, least complicated time of my life, full of magic (lol), fun, and learning so many new things a day that i went to bed absolutely exhausted every single night, dreaming dreams of dragons and grand adventures.

i sometimes forget what it’s like to be a child though, what with all the adult responsibilities and all the issues that go along with those responsibilities demanding my attention.

today, i was reminded.

my best friend and her two step children came over for the early afternoon to relax and hang out and just be for a while.

the thing about her step daughter, however, tickles me to no end.

this little girl is a witch-in-the-making, i just know it.

that isn’t to say that my best friend (who is the witch in the family) is forcing the idea on her (in fact, she goes out of her way not to to avoid friction between herself and her hubby), but this little girl sometimes always finds her way into conversations and curiosities unlike any other child i’ve ever seen.

just the other day, my friend was telling me that she and her stepdaughter, aurora, were out in the yard, digging, and she dug up multiple, gorgeous quartz crystals, just from the backyard while my friend found none.

and then there’s the matter of what we have taken to calling The Book ™.

its an old, dog-eared, scribbled in, well loved copy of judika illes’ ‘encyclopedia of 5000 spells’ and it is our go-to whenever we have a problem that needs to be solved by witchy means.

my friend once found aurora pouring over the book, even if she couldn’t read yet.

which brings us to today.

aurora is obsessed with crystals and she knows that i have a plethora and she wanted to see them.

so, i showed her.

i also showed her how to use a pendulum to choose which crystal to take home and how to cleanse said crystal. it was an enjoyable experience and just reaffirmed (to me, anyway) that there’s something special about this little girl.

she ended up with a piece of gorgeous montana agate and she was so excited, and by extension, i was excited to have a hand in the whole thing,

img_4215

it was super humbling, considering any conversations i have about my path or anything remotely witchy is with my best friend and not a small, curious child who doesn’t know anything about anything yet.

it set me back a peg and made me re-evaluate how i process and handle things.

it made me appreciate my craft so much more.

i wanted also to share the small, simple cleansing ritual with everyone, in case you have some small, curious children in your life as well.

perhaps you can share this with them as well.

simple crystal cleanse

an easy cleanse to share with children

suggested items

  • a crystal
  • essential oils (i use teatree or frankincense)

the process

start by anointing your pulse points with a few drops of the essential oil and rub it in, inhaling the scent and letting it calm you.

hold the gemstone cupped in your hands and hold them up to your heart in atmanjali murda as though you’re praying and focus all of your energy on pushing good energy and thoughts into the gemstone while letting the bad flow out.

(i also explain it as “wishing for good things” if the child is too young to understand.)

sit there as long as you feel, there’s no rush and there’s no hurry. it’s all about intuition and doing whatever feels right to you at the time.

i try to make a point to cleanse my gemstones when i remember to do so (which, honestly, isn’t all that often), but you can do so as frequently or sporadically ass you choose.

the “eyes” have it…

i’ve been pretty nonexistent this last month, as you may have noticed.

oops.

long story short, my eyes decided to mutiny and i spent the better part of may struck down with ridiculous migraines and annoyingly doubled vision.

as a result, the only thing i could manage was to just barely crawl through my desk job responsibilities (which has me staring at a computer screen for 8+ hrs a day) and some days, i couldn’t even manage that.

but, enough of that pity party parade.

my eyes are on the mend, my head is (mostly) pain free, and i am so ready to get this show back on the road.

over the next coming weeks, watch this space (!) for more awesome posts and fun adventures to be had!

there may even be a few surprises on the horizon.

but you didn’t hear it from me.

welcome summer! it’s about time you got here!

xx