i am an incredible clusterfuck of a human being.
some of you (you know who you are…) will take issue with my saying that, because it’s negative self talk, right, but it’s not negative.
it’s embracing the truth of my existance.
and you know what? if i’m being honest with myself, i’m happiest when i’m my messiest.
i’m never going to be one of those “instagram girls”, my eyebrows will never be “on point” and i will never, ever, ever know where my keys are, even though i just fucking had them and i don’t undertand-
i am me when i’m ridiculous and silly.
when i’m laughing so hard i can’t help but snort and when i’m ugly crying at a movie i’ve seen hundreds of times.
when i’m late for work and i have to take an alternative route but i get to sit and watch a family of turkeys play in the road in front of me and i wouldn’t have gotten the chance otherwise.
when i throw my hands up and say “fuck it” and sing that song at the bar or dance to that song i love. it’s not pretty, but it’s me.
my hair is never going to be tamed. it is a wild, frizzy lion’s mane of a thing and it won’t ever be anything else and i’ve given up trying.
let it be. let it go.
i try to pay my bills on time, but sometimes, things like food (or a matt nathanson concert…) come first and that’s okay too.
i am relearning myself.
i love yoga and vegan food and dancing to stupid songs.
i love coffee at midnight even though i have to work in the morning.
i have crippling anxiety that sometimes keeps me from doing the things i want to do.
fuck off, anxiety.
i love toting my camera around so that i can snap a photo of whatever it is that’s lucky enough to catch my eye.
hi, i’m ess and i am a wonderful, glorious, ridiculous mess.
who are you?