the world these days…

i’ve spent quite a lot of time just thinking lately.

about the world, about the pandemic, about all the traveling i never got to do before we all learned that maybe charging headfirst into the unknown isn’t a good idea right now…

i’m one of the lucky ones.

my job allows me to stay employed and at home, for the most part. my boss has told me on multiple occasions that if i’m not comfortable coming into the office, he won’t hold it against me.

i know there are a lot of people out there who don’t have that luxury and i am trying to do my part to stay away from all the unnecessary places that people don’t need to visit right now. (i’m looking at you, karen. you don’t need that hair cut. sit down, shut up and think about someone other than yourself, m’kay?)

food, bank, home.

wash. rinse. repeat.

is it boring?

yes.

is it lonely?

honestly, i’ve never been more lonely in my life.

… is it necessary?

yes.

until all this is over (and the chances of it ever being over are in the negatives), this is the new normal.

buck up, buttercup.

one day, we might be able to walk through our own front doors without panicking about whether we washed our hands or not, but until then, we all need to saddle up and get comfy and decide how we’re doing to handle all of this upheaval.

me? well, i’ve i’m going to do my part to be kind, and helpful, and go out of my way to make people smile.

i don’t know how. i haven’t figured it out yet.

it’ll give me something to think about, anyway.

xx

lammas blessings to you!

happy lammas, everyone!

today, i hope you take the time to reflect on the changes and blessings that you have received this year and set intentions for the remaining times we have this year.

i know, even with the struggles i’ve gone through, i have much to be thankful for.

a great way to give thanks and honor the universe for the gifts you’ve been given is to set up an altar and offering for whoever or whatever you feel has given you the things you have.

if you don’t honor or worship a deity, simply set up an altar and offering to honor yourself and your achievements.

may the next few months be plentiful and full and vibrant!

xx

a time for release

astronomy-cloud-clouds-239107

happy full moon in saggitarius, friends!

as you go through your day, work on releasing all the negative energy of the last cycle to begin anew tomorrow.

let the moonlight cleanse and rejuvenate you and wash all that gross ickiness away, leaving you feeling fresh and clean and ready for another day.

if it’s your jam, do a simple tarot reading to find out what this upcoming cycle has in store for you and let the excitement of what’s to come give you motivation to see your intentions through.

be kind to yourself and take it easy today, letting your body and mind rest.

treat yourself to a cleansing bath or meditation.

forget the bad, remember the good.

life is way too short to be focused on the bad anyway.

xx

the “eyes” have it…

i’ve been pretty nonexistent this last month, as you may have noticed.

oops.

long story short, my eyes decided to mutiny and i spent the better part of may struck down with ridiculous migraines and annoyingly doubled vision.

as a result, the only thing i could manage was to just barely crawl through my desk job responsibilities (which has me staring at a computer screen for 8+ hrs a day) and some days, i couldn’t even manage that.

but, enough of that pity party parade.

my eyes are on the mend, my head is (mostly) pain free, and i am so ready to get this show back on the road.

over the next coming weeks, watch this space (!) for more awesome posts and fun adventures to be had!

there may even be a few surprises on the horizon.

but you didn’t hear it from me.

welcome summer! it’s about time you got here!

xx

embracing the glorious mess…

i am an incredible clusterfuck of a human being.

some of you (you know who you are…) will take issue with my saying that, because it’s negative self talk, right, but it’s not negative.

it’s embracing the truth of my existance.

and you know what? if i’m being honest with myself, i’m happiest when i’m my messiest.

i’m never going to be one of those “instagram girls”, my eyebrows will never be “on point” and i will never, ever, ever know where my keys are, even though i just fucking had them and i don’t undertand-

i am me when i’m ridiculous and silly.

when i’m laughing so hard i can’t help but snort and when i’m ugly crying at a movie i’ve seen hundreds of times.

when i’m late for work and i have to take an alternative route but i get to sit and watch a family of turkeys play in the road in front of me and i wouldn’t have gotten the chance otherwise.

when i throw my hands up and say “fuck it” and sing that song at the bar or dance to that song i love. it’s not pretty, but it’s me.

my hair is never going to be tamed. it is a wild, frizzy lion’s mane of a thing and it won’t ever be anything else and i’ve given up trying.

let it be. let it go.

i try to pay my bills on time, but sometimes, things like food (or a matt nathanson concert…) come first and that’s okay too.

i am relearning myself.

i love yoga and vegan food and dancing to stupid songs.

i love coffee at midnight even though i have to work in the morning.

i have crippling anxiety that sometimes keeps me from doing the things i want to do.

fuck off, anxiety.

i love toting my camera around so that i can snap a photo of whatever it is that’s lucky enough to catch my eye.

hi, i’m ess and i am a wonderful, glorious, ridiculous mess.

who are you?